Thoughts On Our New Normal

Devin and I officially made it through our first work week in our new "normal" routine...Him driving a shorter amount of distance to his new job, me driving the same, long drive to our old job. I'll admit that I had gotten pretty comfortable with Devin doing all of the driving around the busy Dallas metroplex, so I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't the least bit nervous to do the driving myself. Especially when my car gives me anxiety attacks over and over...

But overall, this first week went way better than I thought it would! My car never died on me and I gained a little bit of confidence and independence back having to drive myself everywhere during the busy work week hours. Devin is absolutely loving his new job and I could not be any happier for him! It's exactly in his field of study and it's exactly what he pictured himself doing while in college. He is the Marketing Specialist for a small ministry company in the metroplex and one of the best things is all of this freedom he has to be creative and work in a way that's best for him.

His last job was, how should I put this, very structured. He felt odd this week not having to ask to do certain things and felt even more odd being told that he could work from wherever he wants in the afternoon. Which led him to home one day and up to my office the next day. It's pretty nice, I tell ya. It definitely gives me hope and excitement for when it's my turn to leave and get a new job! There is hope, people!

This week has also taught us to be more prepared. Meaning, I need to pack both of our lunches at night, no more putting it off till the morning or even running out quickly together to grab something during our lunch hour. I cooked at home all week long, so that I could make sure we were getting adequate nutrition so we wouldn't be so tired falling into this new routine...I think I'll keep this one up ;)  I've had to adjust my morning routine so that I'm not loud when getting up, since he gets to sleep a bit longer and I've also found myself leaving right on time because we're not having to wait for two people to get out the door at the same time.

I was pretty nervous all last week thinking about these changes, but like I said, it's been a great week and I think we're gonna be just fine. It's kind of fun living this new routine together, and it definitely makes us appreciate our time together even more since we're not seeing each other most of our day. I think it will be very good for our marriage in many ways! God's been taking care of us financially, physically, and spiritually. I feel even more confident now that this is exactly what God had planned for Devin all along. I just hope He gets the hint that I'm ready for my turn too....  ;)

I will miss those morning drives...Always.

Just Me.

I love this photo of me. It symbolizes perfectly the season of life I was in at the time it was taken and I think it captures the essence of who I really am in my most "me" state.

This was taken four years ago in the middle of the Alps in Austria. It was the semester I was studying abroad in Salzburg, Austria. This "mountain" (really a foothill of the mountains behind me) that I'm on was just outside of Salzburg and was a fun day's hike. It was a beautiful, early spring day in Austria. One of the events that led me to make the decision to study abroad included an end to a bad relationship and a realization that I wasn't letting God use me the way He desired. I finally let go of all of those things holding me down and once I did that, God opened this amazing door to study abroad.

That whole semester changed my life. I grew closer to the Lord in many ways, one being the fact that I was in a foreign country. I realized more about myself that I hadn't known before, I remembered how to dream again, I experienced beautiful countries and travels, met amazing new people, and became more free. I think that semester really allowed me to grow into the woman I was supposed to be, but all of that baggage at home had prevented me from doing so before this semester abroad. This semester even prepared me to enter into a relationship with Devin, although I didn't know that at the time (my next semester back at school was when all of that happened). It is a beautiful picture to me.

I also feel that in my truest state, this is how I am...
+ Fun..
+ Carefree..
+ Maybe a bit silly..
+ Happy..
+ Trusting..
+ Joyful..
+ And just loving life..

In regards to yesterday's post, this is what I'm trying to get back too. Patience truly is a virtue, but I believe this state to be something worth waiting for. But I'm ready...

"Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it.

I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it."

- All Too Well // Taylor Swift

Answering Day 17 of the Blog Everyday In May Challenge:

"A favorite photo of yourself and why."

Linking up with Story of My Life blog.

Difficulty In The Waiting

Sometimes I hate to write about difficulties, simply because I feel like this world has far worse ones than mine, and because I think this blogging community needs to be constantly uplifted. But what's life without difficulties? There's no such thing as a perfect life, these blogs and our social media forums are just snippets of the bigger picture. I may have promised to be encouraging here on this blog of mine, but I also promised to be real -- which I've done on occasion. And what's more real than hard times in our lives? We all have 'em...

I guess I could write a series of blog posts on this topic of "difficult lots in life and working to overcome them," but I'll spare you a whole series and just leave you with this one post here. I missed Day 12 (What do you miss? A person, a thing, a place, a time of your life..) of the challenge because we were traveling, but I suppose that prompt could very well feed into this one.

If I had to choose something I missed, it would be a time in my life. Now, don't get me wrong, I love being married to my husband and sharing life with him, there's nothing quite like it! And if anything, marriage to Devin has made me into a stronger and more loving person. But there's a time in my life that I miss. I miss it because of the person I was then, because of the dreams and hopes I had, because of the excitement surrounding me.

It was two years ago, the spring and summer of 2011. Here's why it was so great:

+ I was finishing up my final semester of college and soaking up memories with friends and just loving life and the college community around me.
+ I proudly graduated in May with an honors degree, cum laude.
+ I was over the moon excited about marrying Devin in a few months.
+ My relationship with the Lord was strong and secure, probably the best it's ever been.
+ I was full of hope and dreams of where the Lord might take me and Devin after marriage, we both knew we would be moving to Texas.
+ I moved back home and absolutely loved those last few months of just my mom and me planning my wedding.
+ I was in the best shape and health of my life (hey, I had to get that wedding day body!).
+ I was surrounded by loved ones in my home church and my own family that were incredibly supportive of Devin and I.
+ July 2, 2011 was the best weekend of my life...We were surrounded by all of our loved ones in one place and Devin and I said, "I do," to a lifetime together.
+ We hopped on a plane and spent a week in Mexico.
+ We happily moved to Texas after the honeymoon and I had my first job interview.
+ I landed that job and Devin soon got one in the same place, right after me.

Life was good then. So you may be wondering where I'm going with all of this and how all of this even fits into life's difficulties. Well the key phrase is, life was good then. Something happened between getting that job and now that has made my life, not so happy at times. It took me awhile to fully get why I wasn't as happy as I always wanted to be, like 8 months later. And even all of those details are for another blog post at another time. But the point is, I lost sight of my dreams and hopes in between the Fall of 2011 and now.

To put it bluntly, this job isn't what I always hoped and dreamed for. Did I think it was at the time, yeah, I think I did. But I think I was also content with where I was in life and I knew I needed a job, so I was comfortable at first. But boy oh boy, did it really send me on a downward spiral that I wasn't expecting! As the days got longer, I realized that this job was making me unhappy. It was the exact opposite of all that I wanted to do. It's caused me to question and wonder and question some more about the calling God had for my life and even my own relationship with Him. So why haven't I left? Well, it's simple...God hasn't told me to yet. And that my friends, is the most difficult thing of all.

How do I wait for something I know is eventually going to happen? How do I find patience in this awful waiting game? How do I trust God when it seems like He doesn't have my best interests in mind? How do I learn to dream again and find my calling when I'm so unhappy?

Well, those have been the difficult questions floating around my head for the last year or so. While I don't have all the answers yet, I have some. But I don't think God will fully reveal everything to me until I'm looking back on all of this someday.

I think one of the main reasons He brought me to this place is to test my patience and trust in Him. Have I perfected it yet? Absolutely not! In fact, I think I digressed at first and I'm just now on an upward slope. I also think He brought me here so that I could, rather He could, perfect His calling in my life. There were always visions and dreams floating around my head while in college and preparing for ministry. I didn't know quite what to do with them yet, and I think He's using this job I don't like at all, to help me see what it is I really like and really want to do with my life. One thing was always consistent in those dreams of mine...teaching. Teaching the Bible, teaching teenagers, teaching them how to live life to the fullest...Just teaching.

So, while I haven't figured it all out yet, let's just say that I'm definitely on the way there. God has opened up my heart to a lot of things in the last few weeks, new doors and new opportunities, and has overwhelmed my heart with peace even when I felt that my heart hasn't deserved it. God's still working on me and I still have a long way to go...But I'm on the way there! I'm closer now than I was last week and even yesterday. I'm getting over these difficulties and it's happening with patience, with endurance, with the hope for something better, and with the knowledge that my God won't let me be defeated, He has only the best for me ahead!

I'm not perfect and this journey hasn't been perfect. I wouldn't wish this "lot in life" on anybody. But we each have our own stories and God has a purpose for each of those stories. And even in the midst of all of this frustration the last year and a half, God has still been faithful to sprinkle the months with laughter, love, joy, and good times. That alone gives me hope for the better, because if He can do that in even the darkest of months, then the better months ahead must be oh so good!

via

Answering Day 16 of the Blog Everyday In May Challenge:

"Something difficult about your 'lot in life' and how you're working to overcome it."

Linking up with Story of My Life blog.

A Day In The Life...

1. My morning begins with my make-up routine.
2. Coffee is always involved, along with time in the Word.
3. Followed by a 20 minute commute to work.
4. Where I sit at this computer screen and type and work all the day long.

5. I type until lunch time, which I am now eating by myself since Devin got his new job... :(
6. Then I go back and type and work even more, and count down to 5:00!
7. 5:00!! Time to go home!
8. Another 20-30 commute home, thanks to Dallas traffic.

9. I get home and we eat dinner.
10. I try and squeeze in a workout in the evenings.
11. Then I relax on the couch until it's time for bed. Then I wake up and do it all over again...


I live such a thrilling life. Some days. I promise, it's better on the weekends. But since this is how most days are lived during the week, I'm just being real with you all. Monday-Thursday can get a tad bit mundane, but thankfully I have an awesome husband, family, and friends to help when things get boring.

What about you? Are your weekdays more thrilling or more chill?

Answering Day 15 of the Blog Everyday In May Challenge:

"A Day In The Life."

Linking up with Story of My Life blog.

I'm happiest when...

1. I'm not at work and just simply with my husband "doing life."

2. Spending time with family (in-laws, my family, cousins, etc.)

3. Reading God's Word in quiet places while drinking coffee.

4. Dreaming of London (or really any place in Europe).

5. Worshiping and learning about my Savior in corporate worship settings.

6. Remembering special memories with loved ones.

7. Eating a good meal with good friends.

8. Laughing without a care in the world.

9. Picturing our future family someday.

10. Remembering all of God's faithfulness in my life so far.

Answering Day 14 of the Blog Everyday In May Challenge:

"Ten things that make you really happy."

Linking up with Story of My Life blog.